my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
