So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dicks are not precious.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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