If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
