I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
