why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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