similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
