literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
as a side note pls kill me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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