he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
