i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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