Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
