I'm jealous of your bromance
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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