I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
