Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize