oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is Oprah even human
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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