I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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