And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
