i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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