You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize