ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize