And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
