If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
