they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
