I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I know her cup size but not her name....
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