What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
