Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
