I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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