and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
