Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
