i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
