At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
