Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
