Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
