speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize