how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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