giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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