ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize