What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
