We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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