I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
