You smell like stripper and shame
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
