do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize