so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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