it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize