I will die if light touches me.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
