y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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