you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
