just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
