So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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