My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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