I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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