Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Come on in and take your pants off
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