Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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