we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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