my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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