if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
