okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
