Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
