if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
