dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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