She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
