I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
