I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
