Screwed.edu
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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