hell yes lets make some ravioli
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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