dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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