Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize