How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
