wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
