Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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