real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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